Open up your heart and let me in.

I would be lying if I said that letting God in is an easy thing to do.
I guess in my walk, this has been a reoccurring problem since the start. This time around, it's as though there has been a short, stumpy, pointless brick wall placed to hold me back from truly receiving the fullness of His love. That stubby old wall? I created it.

It's in our sinful nature to hold ourselves back from giving in to God. But we must remember that in God, we are made new, therefore, we are no longer who we use to be. We no longer have to face the horrible fires of life on our own, for God will never forsake us.

For me to open up my heart, I see is as placing everything on the line for His cause. I see it as truly forgetting my wants and desires and vowing to stay on the path He has paved for me. I see none of me, and all of Him. To dwell so thick within His presence and be set apart in such a Holy matter that regardless of this horrible world and horrible problems, there will be me, bearing this supernatural peace above all else, because I have been with Him.

I'm a sinner made a saint because of what Christ given me. I screw up every single day and get spiritually slapped by God more often than not.

"For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." - Philippians 1:21.

I stand on this scripture. I truly do. My life without Christ can never amount to anything. Opening my heart and in all actuality, leaving it in His hands is a scary thought. At the end of the day, there is no room for compromise nor justification when on this long road home.
I die to myself so that You, my God, may live. I am aching with love for You.

"It's gonna be wild. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be full of Me." - Let me in, United Pursuit Band.

I wouldn't have it any other way. This is me. Stepping into the light, moving out of the shadows; my heart is ready.

A white blank page and a swelling rage.

Although my situation is in no wait pertaining to the song, this line truly does explain this foggy stage in my life. Lately, I have been faced with question after question of who it is that I am and what it is that I plan on doing with this life of mine. I feel as though God has given me a fresh start. He has wiped my horrible track record clean (and thankfully does so every day), and has placed me in a position where He is waiting for me to make the first move. I have never been good at chess, and I must say that this first step of mine is a hard one to choose. I wouldn't necessarily say that I'm filled with a swelling rage, but man, oh man, am I feeling the heat!

I am a white blank page. He has given me the pen and sent me off to discover who it is that I am, what it is that I will stand for, and where it is that I will take this life of mine. Oh, the world and it's lies! I've tried time and time again to answer these questions myself. As if I'm going to find an answer that is more clear that Christ Himself! Pity should in no way be granted to a situation of insanity.

After weeks of being at a spiritual stand still, pondering my life in all it's mystery, I am finally easing my way back into this race of mine. All I have to stand on is what His majestic Word says of me.
I am beautiful. I am chosen. I am dearly loved.

"Forgiven. Beloved. Hidden in Christ. Made in the image of the Giver of life. Righteous and Holy. Reborn and Remade. Accepted and worthy; this is our new name. This is who we are now." - Jason Gray, I am new.

Well then, I guess I'm not a white blank page after all.